A satirical life sim · real map, real traffic on the left
Three ways to arrive. One tiny island. Infinite paperwork.
Land in Malta at seventeen with a backpack, a dinghy or a Nanna. Find a job, queue for a residence card, fill up a Marutto 800 at €1.31 a litre, feed the cats, and try not to boil out.
The browser version will be multiplayer-only. The full game is the download.
What you actually do
The streets, bays and bus routes of Malta and Gozo come from real map data. Everything else is a loving, slightly unhinged parody.
Malta and Gozo built from OpenStreetMap, with the Riviera around Golden Bay and Għajn Tuffieħa rebuilt 1:1 from elevation data. Climb the watchtower, poke around the ruined hotel, swim.
Start as a rubbish runner and work up through kebab shifts, scooter delivery, Sajjetta rides, crane work and iGaming remote. Higher tiers unlock foreman, head cook, limo and VIP host.
Fight, Street, Work and Life skills, levels 1–99 on a familiar XP curve. Master titles, perks and job gates, plus a nameplate that shows everyone how much you have grinded. Hold Tab for stats.
A full dependency graph of offices, forms and stamps. You need the card to get the job, and the job to get the card. Welcome to Malta.
Ferries to Valletta, Birgu and Gozo with cinematic crossings. Buses, Ċensu Cabs, and 22 parody cars from the Marutto 800 to the Maranelli Furioso. Speed cameras included.
Keep Sleep, Hunger and Burnout in check. If you boil out completely you snap, book a one-way flight to Thailand, and it is game over.
Stand still and a tabby, ginger or tuxedo will rub against your legs. Pet them, or buy treats for €1.50 and feed them. Both are good for your Burnout. The purrs are real (well, synthesised).
Heat and wanted stars, bribes, bail and jail. Slapstick brawls with no gore. Run from a fight and you will get sued. Meanwhile the Reds and Blues argue and the fireworks never stop.
Hanut, pastizzeria, kiosk and pharmacy, each with a keeper and a shelf of parody products: Kola Gozitana, Ċiskun, Ċinni, Twistuzzi. Shops are still being built.
Pick how you arrive
Everyone starts at seventeen. That is where the similarities end.
“Night crossing, a dinghy, and paper number 4,812.”
Sea-hardened and with nothing to lose, but no papers and no status. Every office is a wall. Save €10,000 and the Golden Passport Express is open for business.
“Fjällräven backpack, a recruiter with a sign, and an EU passport nobody checks.”
Erik from Sweden. Dodge the taxi touts, sign up for a job, inherit a rooftop flat. The EU passport opens doors, but remote work only pays half. Pass the language test (mela, ejja, issa) for citizenship.
“Born here. Nanna's kitchen, Mamma's ironing, and an uncle who knows a guy.”
Every document already sorted, and a car of your own. Mamma, though, has rules: no kebab shop, no delivery scooter, and absolutely no Sajjetta driving.
In-game screenshots
Captured in-game from a work-in-progress build. Click any shot to enlarge.
Get the game
The download includes single-player and multiplayer, so you can host a game on your own machine or LAN.
Pick your system below.
No install, straight into a shared server.
Play in browser Coming soonMultiplayer-only. The browser version joins a hosted server and cannot host games itself. Saves stay in your browser. It switches on once the web build is slim enough to load quickly.
Early prototype
One player hosts, friends join. For now you share the island, not the wallet.
Pause the game, open Multiplayer, type your name and press Host. You keep playing as normal while you host. The default port is 24680.
Up to 16 friends enter your IP address and press Join. On the same Wi-Fi it just works. Over the internet, the host forwards UDP port 24680 on their router.
You see each other walk, drive and emote in real time, each with a nameplate showing name and Master level. Money, jobs and fights stay personal for now.
On the roadmap: chat, a shared clock and weather, and server-checked XP for the leaderboard.
Who is grinding hardest
The sum of all 23 skills, from players with an in-game account.
| # | Player | Total | Top skill | Updated |
|---|
Loading leaderboard…
Questions
Desktop builds for macOS and Windows are planned first. The buttons above light up as each build is uploaded. A browser version is coming later and will be multiplayer-only.
A browser cannot host a game, so it connects to a hosted server instead. The full experience, solo or hosted, is the download.
No. You can play solo or on a LAN without one. An account, created inside the game, adds cloud saves and puts you on the leaderboard.
The host forwards UDP port 24680 on their router and shares their public IP. Friends press Join and type it in. For an always-on world, there is a dedicated server you can run on a Linux box.
The roads, coastline and buildings come from OpenStreetMap, and the Riviera area uses real elevation data. The businesses, brands, parties and people are parody.
It is satire. The three life paths poke fun at how differently the same island treats people depending on how they arrived. The jokes are aimed at the system, never at the people stuck in it.
There is a pixel style setting with a softness slider, plus the usual graphics options. Dialogue uses written lines and baked voices, so there are no heavy AI models to run.
